the answer is blowing in the wind

I spent so many years not believing allergies were a real thing (since everyone in Santa Fe believes in something, I’ve decided to be different and believe in nothing), that it’s hard to reconcile myself to this indisputable reality: I have allergies. This morning I woke up, eyes sealed shut (the sequel to Eyes Wide Shut), my head pounding on one side, my sinuses pulsating. What am I allergic to? Clearly this starts up when the winds kick up, so it’s something blowing in the wind. But what? Elm? Juniper? Dust? Radioactive mites? Hell if I know.
I don’t take allergy medicine because half the time it doesn’t work and makes me either knocked out (if it’s non-drowsy) or wired like a crackhead who just drank 10 espressos (if it’s the sleep formula). Instead, I started today with a lovely cocktail of Musinex (grossest name ever), a sinucleanse, Excedrin sinus and, a few squirts of nosespray. The nosespray helps, but I’m paranoid about it having been warned by several people that it’s “really easy to become addicted, and you don’t want that.” This is clearly what happens when one reaches a certain age. Suddenly, the gateway drug is no longer dope, it’s nose spray. I can’t think of anything more ignonomious than developing a nose-spray addiction. I’m not even sure what that would entail; Me, shaking and cold, panhandling for pennies in front of CVS to scrape together enough money for just a few squirts?

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